from smachy

Ten years ago, my best friend died. She was taken away from me suddenly, just as we were both figuring out who we were. i was seventeen and getting ready for my prom. She had already left high school and was trying to get shit straight. I couldn't blame her. I envied her. Always, all the time. She was beautiful, sweet and honest. She made me understand things about myself and about the world that most 17 year olds couldn't grasp. Maybe that was just all the pot we smoked. I don't know for sure.

For years after her death, I watched as the media tried to villainize her. I watched her family mourn and try to pick up the pieces. I watched her friends stand up at Police Commission meeting after meeting, refusing to let her death be swept under SFPD’s filthy rug.

I was angry for a long time – angry that my friend was taken away from me in the way that she was. Last January, charges against the officers involved in her death were dropped. After a nine year uphill battle, everything was over. I decided then that for years I had focused only on her death and not on the wonderful person she was and the great friendship we had.

There is not one person in this entire world who had influenced me the way that she has. I will forever be grateful to her for all that she gave me and continues to give me.

I love you she-she and I miss you terribly.