SEATAC

stuck in seattle

*rainy days wont go away*
*can't wait to get to san jose*

so tired, i want to take a nap
but then i'd be lying when i tell
TSA
that i've had by eye on my bag
the whole time
god forbid a stranger try to
smuggle shampoo
in my carry on.

im emotionally exhausted,
waiting for a text from my husband.
the only thing more annoying than
the plane being delayed
is the girl with the glasses and a messy braid
practicing her spelling words.
s-c-h-e-d-u-l-e, schedule.

27

I keep forgetting I'm 27.
people ask me how old and honestly, i have to think about it.
I want to say 25 or 26, maybe even 28. Anything but 27.
It seems like such an arbitrary and anonymous number.
but here i am, in my 27th year, trying to figure out what the
rest of my life will be like.
so, i guess it's not arbitrary at all.

city of angels part 2

ok, ok...so i decided that i could blow off work today and finish the city of angels blog.

where did i leave off? ok, so we left Disneyland a little later than expected. we had a few things to check off the list...Mickey sweatshirt (damn you Disney for making this deed nearly impossible), picture in front of the castle (thanks dada dude!) and holding hands and skipping down Main street like gaybobs while singing "the wells fargo wagon" song from music man (well, that wasn't part of the plan, it just kinda happened that way.) we left Disneyland and headed back for Santa Monica.

i can't go to any city that has a ferris wheel and not ride it. It’s like a mortal sin. the last time we were in Santa Monica i was pretty bummed that we didn’t have time to go to the pier. This time we made sure it made the to-do list

i don't know exactly what's going on in this picture, but i think russell is doing his best impression of me.
I think we started some sort of smooch fest that turned into a kissing/licking war. Russell slobbered all over my face and I think he was even trying to reinact 2 girls, 1 cup with spit. I know, we're pretty disgusting. I wish I would have taken a picture of the warning sign we saw when boarding the ferris wheel. it said something like, "no innapropriate or illegal behavior." Oops my bad.







We smooched and smooched.






and smooched some more.

Then we laughed until I wanted to pee my pants.

we look pretty damn adorable here if i do say so myself.

to be continued...

the moon thought san jose was gay so it bailed

soooo,
with my husband so far away, i thought it would be cute/gay if we could both take a look at the eclipse and realize that even in this big world, we are both under the same sky, looking at the same moon. it would make us feel closer. gay, gay, gay. This i know. I miss him terribly and will do what i can to feel better about it.
he followed the puerto ricans and saw the beggining of the eclipse.
i walked down the street and was harrassed by surenos. no moon.
i circled the block. still no moon.
i got in my car and drove around for 20 minutes. Still no moon.
Russell said, "the moon thought san jose was gay so it bailed."
now i'm sad.
stupid moon. stupid universe.

I love the place where we shared our tiny grace

if you're a bird than im a bird

we made our tent.
it was beautiful.
but then my neck hurt for, like, three days.
we watched silly love movies and decided our story
was the greatest love story every told.

vallintimes eve

last night it took forever to get to the city. longer than usual.
when i finally got to russell's house, all i wanted to do was make a tent.
maybe today we will.

we drove around the city finding new homes for all of russell's worldly belongings.

we split a burrito, no salsa. i hate tomatoes.

we listened to my ipod on shuffle and it didnt seem like shuffle at all. it seemed as if the ipod wanted us to cry. and we did.

i stopped at city hall, the location of our first kiss. every time we pass by, we share a smooch. this time was no exception. i put the car in park and enjoyed my husbands company. we sang desperado together and he laughed as i sang oklahoma.

we went home, sat in bed and planned our travels around the world.

i fell asleep in his arms.

god, how i love him so.

city of angels part one

russell and i took a much needed trip down south this weekend.

we had such good times and good talks that now i'm sitting at my desk, just 50 miles from him, missing him more than i ever have. you would think that sad things are what make you sad, right? happy things are making me sad. happy things are whats making me miss him like crazy.

we started our drive down on friday afternoon. we had jack in the box for breakfast, which was the start of our disgusting eat-a-thon. we held hands and sang the juno soundtrack. we talked about our future together and apart. we talked about our fears and insecurities. basically, we were pretty gay.

russell decided he needed a shave. we wanted to stop at the most country bumpkin place we could find. you know, a place where the main street is called main street. we stopped in coalinga and followed the striped pole to Ron's Barber Shop , but it was closed. Apparently Ron was sick. After asking around, we found CL Smith's Barber Shop just a few blocks away. Russell got his shave and I enjoyed small town talk. Everyone knew everyone and they warned us that we might never leave. Some people who just pass through end up settling down and spending forty years there. We glanced at the Krueger Motel and decided that Freddy himself wouldn't stay there.

We stopped again somewhere else along the 5. Bear Mountain or something like that. We found a field and watched the sunset. We talked about how much we loved each other and mushy stuff like that. Russell has some amazing pictures on his camera from this pit stop. But i'd like to think that it was better left to the imagination.

We made it to Santa Monica a little after 8. We had barbecue at Mr. Cecils with Matt and Catherine. The boys told stories about growing up in the richmond and about how much trouble russell got into as a kid. we swapped crazy parent stories...i'm still not sure who's parents are crazier, mine or russells...either way, they make perfect in-laws.

we left to meet up with efty at her boy's place in los feliz. after a few glasses of wine, we left to some bar/club place nearby. we drank and danced the night away under a latinos for obama poster. some l.a. douchebag try to hit on me and efty right in front of the boys. in true douchey fashion he started spewing disparaging remarks about san francisco when russell stepped in. fuck l.a., that's what i have to say about that. we went back to los feliz and had some more wine, sang creedence and watched internet porn. we talked about relationships, love and life into the wee hours of the morning.

we drove back to santa monica around 5. Got a couple hours of sleep on the air mattress before heading out to disneyland. (yes, again) My favorite souvenir from my trip is my disney ticket that says hero: Matthew Morse. Thanks Matt for directing traffic during the So Cal fires so that we could all have a wonderful weekend at the magic kingdom. You truly are my hero for that.

Russell found time to say hello to his old friend Mr. Toad. He told us that he wanted to come back to the bay and ghostride the whip. We were sorry to inform him that the hyphy movement has since died down and he'd have to find another reason to come and visit us.

We both stopped in for a visit with Alice and the Queen of Hearts. We'd missed them the last time around and hadn't completely gotten over it. Last time we were here, Matt's arm was out of commission and they couldnt get the teacups spinning in full force. This time we all wanted to barf.

After the teacups, we went to visit Clint the waiter at the jazz kitchen place in downtown disney. the food was amazing, but this waiter was something else. he caught us making fun of him about a million times. i was laughing so hard all through dessert that i thought i was going to spit diet coke all over russell. part of me wants to write a blog dedicated to this extra special food service worker.

we were disney-ed out and called it a night pretty early. we couldnt even get through an episode of friends.

the next morning, the tower of terror was first thing on the list. yay, we got front row. i was scared...again. even though i've been on this thing a bunch of times, it still gets me.

Then Russell channeled his inner school shooter and played with the big ball in tomorrow land.

After being dissed by Snow White and Goofy, we managed to run into these big timers in toon town. Russell and I were worse than the kids. We were pushing over grandmas and handicapped people just to get this shot.

Unbeknownst to Matt, Russell captured a picture of his brother's sweet stache. Matt didn't want his upper lip to be documented, but guess what, now it's been blogged about. Notice that matt and catherine bear an uncanny resemblance to Minnie and Pluto. Curiouser and Curiouser.

Not enough Japanese people go to disneyland. It took us asking 3 different people in two different languages to get a picture of us in front of the castle. this one was taken by a dude in a dada shirt.

to be continued...

hostess with the mostest

TL called me to thank Russell and I for hosting our Mardi Gras party last Saturday.
I really feel like an adult.

People are calling to thank me for parties that I’ve thrown. what's next? cards? bottles of wine? Anna hates when I say it, but God, I'm getting old.

I always enjoy our joint get-togethers because between the two of us, we have such a great group of friends.

As many people confirmed as declined and the night started out with a few beers and just Russell, Kev and I. It was coming down pretty hard, so I didn't know which way it was going to go. A whole slew of people showed up around 11 and we partied the night away. The usual suspects were in attendance, but there were also some faces I hadn't seen in a while.

Karen and I talked about my Jim Morrison phase. She remembered when I used to wear flowers in my hair and doodle "The Doors" on my Eddie Bauer backpack. I reminded her about her "In the spirit of Crazyhorse..." phase. We listed all the pros and cons for going to our high school reunion this year. We decided that we were the only people who really mattered and as long as we reunited every so often, we'd be good.

Pooh Bear and Russell apparently had a man-to-man talk in the bathroom. I don't know what it was about, but it was pretty intense. Maybe Pooh gave him the "If you hurt my friend, I'll hurt you" speech. I don't really know.

Jason promised me about 5 redbull vodkas and I’m still waiting for him to pay up. We talked about marriage and subprime mortgage.

I talked to Ryan about baby mama drama and biological clocks. I told him I liked photographs much better than video because I have a wild imagination. I thought for a few moments about being a photographer, but then I remember what Russell said about all women trying out two things in life, being a photographer and being a lesbian. One out of two isn't bad.

It was 4am, the crowd of 20 or so dwindled down to just 5 soldiers. My feet hurt, all my beads were gone and we were in the middle of the Tenderloin. It was time to call it a night.

So if you missed it, then you missed out. Mayyyyybe I'll post a few pictures, but it seems like a sort of myspace-y thing to do, so I'll have to consult the Pope on that one. (as you can see the pope said it would be okay)

bff

when i was a little girl, maybe about 7 years old, i had a purple judy jetson diary that my mom bought at great america. it had a gold lock that i broke -- diary access emergency.

i named the diary di-di, just like judy's diary.

i used to write the names of boys i liked and then cross them out in case any one ever read it. Sometimes, I would make up cute and exciting boys that just moved to my block and tell the girls at school about him. I would write fake entries and show my friends as if that made it more real. It was okay to like imaginary boys, but i didn't want to like anyone based in reality, anyone my friends could run and tell. I used to have an imaginary boyfriend named Casey. He had blonde spikey hair and a rat tail.

i used to make lists of all my friends in order of best friend-ness. Every couple of weeks, i would change who was number one.

The summer after third grade, Eli didn't call me at all. I thought she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I was ready to take out a sharpie and cross her name out for good. As it turned out, she was spending the summer at her grandparent's house in Kansas and I didn't know. I'm glad I kept her on the list. 20 years later, she's still there.

i would jot down what friends were going to be my bridesmaids in my wedding to the boy of the dreams.

Some things haven't changed.

yesterday

i was sad for most of the day yesterday. I’m fed up with my job, as you all can probably tell from previous posts. I even broke down at my desk in true spazz fashion. I wanted Russell to ride his bike to my work, but i realized 8 miles was a little far. it's been hard. I need a real kick in the ass.

I left work a little early and talked to Anna on my way home. The more I talk about the things going on in my life, the better I feel about it all. Kind of. She never tells me what I want to hear. She always tells me what I need to hear. I’m blessed to have a friend like her on my side. She keeps me sane. Yes, Crazy Little Anna keeps me sane.

I arrived at home to find my honey wrapped up like a burrito on the miracle couch. I love coming home to him. I love when he's been working all day and I come home and he's still in his Chinaman pajamas and his hair's all messed up. He hasn't showered and probably smells weird, but I don't care.

We spent some time apart at Christmas when we saw our families and a few other times when he's traveled for work, but other than that we've been together every night since last June. Nothing has ever felt so right. It’s weird how two people can live together in two separate houses. Home is where he is, no matter how far away.

last night we were at our loveshack in san jose.
I googled "catholic church, Campbell" and we found a church a couple blocks down.
We were late to mass for some unholy reason, but we made it and received our ashes.
there were so many cute babies at church. like 40. it was quite strange, actually. Cute little babies, wrapped up like burritos just like russell was when i got home earlier.

some people might call us seasonal Catholics. I would just call us Catholics.

and then like all the other good Catholics, we went to In n Out and ate cheeseburgers on a holy day of obligation.

We drove back to San Francisco. All the back and forth really has just become a part of our lives, I hardly notice it anymore. (i'm full of shit by the way).

We're taking a drive down south this weekend. i need a happiest place on earth fix. i think we could use a long drive, some rockstars, good music and a lot of honest talks.

ash wednesday

i was a good catholic today.
i didn't eat meat.
i didn't myspace. (is that a verb?)

When Russell and I re-met after a 10 year hiatus, I was curious about what he had been up to in the decade since I’d last seen him.

While perusing the net, I found this, and thought that he was the most fascinating person to ever come into my life. I knew I was truly blessed.

Sure the cast of characters include other women, but the story isn’t about them. For me, it’s the story of a forlorn Catholic boy on a crazy chase for his ashes, trying to make sense of it all. Everything means everything and everything means nothing.

Russell is full of stories and anecdotes. This is my favorite. When we first started dating last summer, people would say, “Tell me about this guy. What’s he like?”
I’d show them this. Nobody thought he was crazy. Everyone thought we were perfect together.

Recently, I suggested that perhaps I need to find God. Russell said, “It’s not the finding, it’s the seeking.” He's right. Maybe I'll talk to God about that tonight at mass.

http://youthoutlook.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=57bdaf1d282bb99cf628d541bca20cf7

blegh

my eyes are heavy.
i cried like a baby last night.
i want to throw up.

last night, russell and i shared headphones and listened to music on the miracle couch.
I feel asleep while he worked, just like I always do.

i really do love the silly things.

Joyeux Anniversaire Nana

i'll have some andre and some fondue.
maybe a little merde ala baton.
i'll watch an Elvis movie.
i'll eat some ham and cream cheese and a cornichon, all rolled up.

happy birthday nana.

you would have been 73 today.

why i need a new job

In the last 5 minutes I heard the following words/phrases at work:

Remember that Intervention where they tried to make the dyke not a dyke anymore?
Flavor Flav is a disgrace to the black race.
Chinese people eat ducks of the floor.
She stole 200G’s from her dad. Can you say Incest?

I'm not the queen of PC, but somethings are better left unsaid.

superbowl nostalgia

i was just sitting at my desk remembering something funny from Sunday.

Russell and I were at Jason and Amanda's. Paris aka Superfan was being nostalgic about the best team in history, the 9ers. The boys were talking about their favorite Superbowl.

Paris said, "My favorite was when the Niners played the Bengals."
Amanda replied, "Paris, you were six."





I thought that was funny.





Something else that made me smile...





When you Google "The Catch"





The first image that comes up is

Paris is right. There is nothing finer than a 49er. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a better season this year.

40 days and 40 nights

So, giving up myspace for lent means that i will have to find another way to occupy my time while at work. No, no. I won't actually be working. You needn't worry about that. I'll find interesting things to write about and share them with you here. You all can still keep up on the life and times of Rachel in a less stalkerific way.

I promise, it won't just be pictures of me and Russell making out, but I'm sure it will be some of that, too.

-r